These Shattered Truths by Siri Sandford

Author:Siri Sandford [Sandford, Siri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Siri Sandford
Published: 2022-04-01T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

She pushes herself through the manor as quickly as she can physically go. She makes it to the opposite end of the hallway and tries the last doorknob. Ava falls into the room and closes the door behind her. She settles against the floor and pushes her back to the door. Her mind is filled to the brim with emotions and thoughts that spin in broad, endless circles. Heavyweights that fly in opposing directions. Her muscles are sore from straining herself this morning and her head aches from overstimulation.

Ava rubs her temples with her forefingers, hoping to soothe the growing headache. She is learning everything so quickly, but when it comes to protecting her own mind, she is helpless. Absolutely helpless. She was able to hold fire in the snow while keeping conversation with Raiden through the Sonder, but it seems impossible to keep him out. How can she feel so powerful, yet so useless?

And Levi—she wants to hate him. Wants to despise his very soul, but she can’t. She can’t stop thinking about him, and it hurts. He was there every day for months, by her side, comforting her. It was easy to avoid him in Grymyr because she knew she could see him if she wanted to. But now she is in a different region entirely, and he is so far away from her. She wants to be near him again, to feel him near her, but she won’t ever be able to do that again. Because she has responsibilities now, to the home her mother left behind. The future foretold to her by her ancestors’ generations ago. She has no choice in the matter and there is an entire region of people needing her. But what could I possibly do? She’s not these people’s savior.

The same thoughts probably plague Raiden. How can he be relied on for such important tasks when he is so young? No matter how Raiden presents himself, she can’t help but think that he too has a fragile mind.

He must be hiding his pain on the inside so that no one will see. And that’s what he wants her to do as well. To hide it all inside, to protect herself from people seeing her vulnerabilities. But what’s wrong with people feeling her emotions, seeing her pain, knowing her struggles? Everyone has them, she doesn’t need to hide them. Maybe that’s what stops her from being able to block Raiden and build those walls because deep down she doesn’t want to hide from the world. She likes the freedom of having a free-flowing mind. If she is never able to build the protective walls, she doesn’t see why that’s a bad thing.

Ava hugs her knees to her chest and lets her gaze stray around the room. It’s shrouded in darkness, but she can see the shapes of furniture highlighted by the minimal sunlight that filters through an open curtain. All the other windows are fully covered, except for one in the back. That window has the blinds slightly pulled apart and lets in those few rays of light.

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